The Lamestreaming Services

There’s a new Storytown track, and it is better than any track online. Nobody has made a better track of music. And no other band has streaming numbers like this. These are streaming levels that have never been seen before. Everyone knows it.

Eugene, just to pick one of Storytown’s very successful tracks — and you know it has been very successful, has had more streams than Drake. More than Tay-Tay. Is that what we’re supposed to call her? Notice how they booed her at the Super Bowl? Sad.

It’s been stated – by many – that Storytown is the most successful band in the history of the music business. If you don’t listen to this new track right now you are a nasty person. Only a moron would ignore its greatness. People are putting it on their playlists in numbers never before seen. Storytown is the most streamed band in the universe.

Spotify knows it. Apple knows it. Bandcamp knows it. They all know it. Their streaming numbers are fake. There’s never been anything like this coverup anywhere in the world for any industry. This industry is run by weak, stupid people – the lamestreamers. That’s what they call them.

Like I said, Storytown has streaming numbers at levels never seen before. There's a chart that I hope the low-IQ streaming executives have. There's a chart that I love very much, because I wouldn't be here talking to you without it. I love it. I'm in love with it. I love that chart. And they are burying it, because they are unfit to run these services. The lamestreamers are run by very unfit, low-IQ people. We don’t need unfit people in charge of these services. No one trusts them. No one takes them seriously. And they are crooked as hell. The listening public deserves better. You deserve better

Every day that Storytown releases a track is the most important day in the history of music. So here it is, a beautiful new track from the world’s most streamed band, Storytown (click the image to hear this beautiful beautiful song):

I know you’re listening to Storytown. Everyone is. And, if you’re not listening – a lot – you’re a moron. Put this new song on your playlist like everybody else is doing. Make Listening Great Again.